Lassie Goes to the Moon

When we tell people that we are moving to London, one of the first things they ask is, "What are you doing with the cats?" While there was a very brief time when we asked each other this same question, it soon became clear that we would be bringing them along. In part, they are part of our family and part of our life, and in part we wouldn't wish them on others. I am half kidding.

The process of getting them legal to travel is called the Pet Passport program. While it's theoretically less involved than the human process, the need for strict timing on certain things makes it seem more complex. It also seems to be poorly understood, certainly by us. Our understanding of the process has changed four times in the past two days.

The actual process is this:

1. You need to get a ISO compliant microchip implanted in each cat, turning them into unstoppable cyborg killing machines.
2. At least 22 days after the chip is implanted, the cats need to get rabies boosters.
3. No more than 10 days before the date of departure, you need to get normal checkups for each cat.
4. You now need to take the rabies forms, the forms from the checkups, and a special NEW form to the USDA Vet who is open from 8:00 am until 1:00 pm, weekdays only, 30 miles away from home.
5. Pack up the cats, we're moving!

This process in some ways highlights the weird possession/living being dichotomy of pets. There is nothing like having to document the "replacement value" of a loved one to make you feel like you have enslaved a race of (mostly) benevolent furry beings for your own amusement.

There are definitely a few absurdities in which our furry slaves are getting the last laugh. For starters, their plane tickets cost more than ours by a material amount. They are also going to take 3-4 hours to clear customs once we arrive, thus prolonging the process even more. Finally, the airlines have requirements on the style and size of the carrier. Those requirements are absurd. Our carriers are sized for medium-sized dogs and are 28" x 20.5" x 21.5". For reference, that's about 13 times the volume of the larger of the two cats. Prepare the villa indeed.