How Did They Move The Satellite So Quickly?

Over this past weekend, we watched Captain America (colon the first avenger.) I like the movie quite a bit but it does have this one, tiny little detail which grates on my nerves every time I watch it. It goes like this: When Captain America first gets his shield the scientist specifically mentions that the reason it's so amazing is that it's made of a material (from a meteorite!) that absorbs all vibrations. Ok, sure, whatever. You need to explain it's awesomeness, I can roll with this. Then, seconds later he deflects a few bullets with it and the shield rings from the vibrations. This, more than any serum-injected supersolders in S&M gear shooting blue laser beams during World War II, is a detail that drives me absolutely bonkers because THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

Then, over the holiday, we watched The Avengers. While in this one they don't mention the magical vibration absorbing powers of the shield, they do have another scene with it ringing. Since we had seen Captain American (colon the first avenger) so recently, it bothered me again. Like, really bothered me. Like, talk about it on the internet bothered me.

There is actually a phrase for this behavior in the marriage code, and that is "How did they move the satellite so quickly?" This derives from my brother's response when we asked him about one of the more recent bond films (either Goldeneye or Die Another Day.) Despite all of the inherent absurdity of these films (Space lasers! Invisible cars! Tank chases through Moscow!) the speed with which the satellite moved was what he could not get past. We laughed about it at the time, but in his defense, we have both found ourselves falling into similar traps since.

I think that as analytically-inclined people with a basic understanding of science, it bothers us to have folks drop details and then not live by them. The blue lasers those supersolders are shooting? Totally alien technology. Ok! I am fine with that. I don't know about aliens, but I can buy that they shoot blue lasers. Why not? But I do know how sound works. And my brother, apparently, knows how satellites work.

So the next time you get hung up on some silly little detail of a film like this, ask yourself, "How did they move the satellite so quickly?" You know Mary and I will be.