Human Shielding, or How I Learned to Jaywalk in London

One of the many ways in which London is different from Chicago is in how the roads work. The most obvious difference is that the drivers are on the 'wrong' side of the road, but there are many other little traps laying in wait. The streets tend to run and cross at odd angles, there appear to be uncontrolled intersections even deep in the city, and there are traffic circles. Also working against us is the fact that one-way streets appear to go totally unlabeled here. Crossing signals are plentiful, thankfully, though they only display the walk if you press the button. There are also words stenciled on the pavement at most crossing telling you which way to look, which are exceptionally useful. Finally, the little guy in the walk signal is flat-out jaunty, so it's hard to not to smile when you get the right-of-way. All that said, as a creature of the city I don't want to wait for the crossing signal. I want to jaywalk. I want to lead the light, and cross mid-block, and know if I can dash on the tail end of a red or if I must wait. We have been gradually relearning how to do all these, but it does take time.

Early on, our strategy was to toe the line unless we could employ the human shield. If other folks go, then clearly it is safe enough for us. As long as there is at least one other human between us and traffic, we're good. There are still a few tricks to this approach, mind you. It still requires you to know which way the traffic is going. You also need to gauge the speed of your human shield, as once they alight the opposite curve their usefulness expires. Whispering "human shield" to your wife while doing this is optional, but it's an option I strongly favor. One wonderful feature of the UK is the traffic signal cycle. Instead of going straight from red to green, there are a few seconds of red and yellow at once. This indicates that the light is about to change. Not only can taxicabs get a headstart, but you can also determine if you are about to lose the light and find yourself caught in traffic. It's magical; America totally should have imported this instead of One Direction.